Oh my, this could be interesting territory. The older I get the more I’m approached by younger men. Now stereotypically, when men go younger it’s perfectly acceptable but if a women dares to cross that 10 year plus line, we have to endure being labeled a “cougar”. Why am I considered a predatory female if I date younger men. Societal labels suck, but as I’ve always been taught, “it’s not what they call you but what you answer to” that counts.
Now, let’s talk about this cougar thing for a moment, shall we?
According to Dictionary.com the informal definition states:
…an older woman who seeks sexual
relationships with much younger men: He's in his twenties, but he prefers
cougars in their forties and fifties to young women his own age.
Seeks? WTF? As you can see I’m not real happy with
that definition so I continued to dig.
About.com had a more “tolerable” short definition that states:
: A cougar is an older woman who is
primarily attracted to and has sex with significantly younger men.
The most
commonly-accepted definition of a cougar is a woman 40 years of age or older
who exclusively pursues very young men. The onset of the cougar years is hotly
debated. Some feel that a cougar can be as young as 35, but women of this age
would not be viewed as cougars unless their sexual conquests were no older than
25; the ten-year age difference seems to be an unspoken but accepted minimum
between partners.
Typically, cougars prey (there’s that word again) upon
men almost young enough to be their sons. Thus fortysomething cougars would be
attracted to men in their 20s, and fiftysomething cougars would pursue men in
their 30s and so on. Some cougars are less interested in a relationship than a
sexual conquest, perhaps enjoying the fact that they are physically appealing
to men who are considered to be in the prime of their virility.
Are you kidding me? So what is it called when the younger
man pursues you? I just don’t get it.
Anywho…back to my original thought.The older I get, the more I’m approached by younger me. Younger men seem to have no since of fear when it comes to approaching older women. The possibility of rejection means nothing. They just go for it. Ya have to love that, at least I do. It has been my experience to find these men confident and poised. I don’t mind saying it’s a great confidence boost to have someone ten to fifteen years my junior ask me out. It forces me to monitor my appearance before walking out the door.
Have I ever taken any of these guys up on their offer? You’re
Damn Skippy I have. Side note, don’t use the term “damn skippy” while out with
one of these guys, not cool. LOL… It was fun and well worth both our time. Enough said!!!
Now if you dare to
venture in this area, here are a couple of things to keep in mind:
·
Be yourself – if the latest slang is way outside
your realm of thinking, leave it there.
No need sounding like a fool. The last time I checked the Kings English
still works well when communicating.
·
Be open – you never know what you may learn. The
two of you are from somewhat different worlds which both of you will have a
perspective that is unique to one another. Explore it.
·
Don’t preach to him – just because you may have
graduated high school with his mother doesn’t mean he needs for you to act like
her when you’re out.
·
Try it at least once – why not?
·
Be honest – if the pressure is too much for you
then let it go.
·
Be comfortable in your own skin – you have to be
comfortable with you no matter who you date.
Be prepared for some odd looks and some raised eyebrows, especially from
family and friends. People have a
tendency to react to your situation using their personal fears and inhibitions. Remember it’s your life. Screw what others
think. Know what you want – if sex is it
then let that be known. If it’s companionship, go for it.
