BigGirlz
We are on the countdown to the close of one year and a fresh start to
another year. With that, it’s time to begin thinking about what and who you are
going to allow to join you in 2014. In other words, who and what are you going
to leave in 2013?? Now many of us including myself have a tendency to think
about or set goals for the in coming year. You know the stuff; lose weight,
save money, blah blah blah… However what we fail to do is think about the shit
that held us back or prevented us from being who we want and desire to be. Sure
some things are all us and the way we respond to various people and situations.
Can you imagine how different our lives could/would be if we’d make a conscious
decision to distance ourselves from the toxic people that often create the
fucked up situations we find ourselves drawn into from time to time? BigGirlz,
don’t you wish you could step into 2014 with a clean slate ready to do things
differently? A quote that stands out for me is “a goal without a plan is merely
a wish” (I can’t remember the author). Damn a wish BigGirlz lets make some
plans and start cleaning house.
Now
for all of my churchy saints who have forgotten or at least pretend you have
forgotten what it’s like to deal with life on a carnal level, just pray for
those of us who aren’t quite where you pretend to be, and stop reading. (I’m
just saying) Yes I know the power of prayer but I also know that sometimes you
have to makes some step toward your own healing so God will take you seriously.
Anywho…
I’ve
devised my cleaning plan feel free to use and/or modify to meet your needs.
1. Make
a list (yes dammit a list) with two columns. I labeled mine Keepers &
Crappers
2. Think
about all the folks, former partners, toys, “something to dos”, time fillers,
bed warmers, you get my point. Write their names down. Even if these are just
people you are obsessed with thinking about, especially if you’ve plotted their
demise a million different ways in your mind. Sometimes seeing the shit in
print makes it real. Now the key to this exercise is to just throw their names
under one of those titles. Go with your first thought or should I say your
first gut? Don’t dwell on it just list them. Just a note, if a person’s name
comes to you later or comes as an afterthought, throw their ass on the Crapper
side. If they were deserving of Keeper status they would not have been an
afterthought.
3. Now,
review the list. I started with my Keepers. It was the shorter of the two.
(Don’t judge me…lol). As I perused my list the question I kept in mine was “Are
you an asset or a liability?” “Am I happy for more than 15 minutes while we are
together?” Side note, if it’s a mere 15 minutes or less shoot that lame horse
and put it out of misery. They shouldn’t even be a point of consideration. Go
through both sides of the list. It’s possible you may have a legitimate reason
to move some folks around but if you are honest with yourself most of the names
will remain where you initially placed them.
1.
Once again I started with the short
list, the Keepers. If you are currently happy with the way things are with them
than do nothing BUT if you would like to enhance your relationship then reach
out to that person, you can’t expect them to read your mind. Do it soon/early
in the new year if not before. There’s no use in wishing things would change.
Take steps to make your intentions known. Be prepared for whatever comes your
way be it acceptance or rejection. Stop wasting time on someone who’s not
feeling you. Besides, the Keeper may be a Crapper in disguise so do your
homework.
2. The
Crappers may take a little more creativity and backbone. You have to plan your
exit. Let me say this again. PLAN YOUR EXIT. Now if having a direct conversation
with them doesn’t work OR you’re not strong enough to resist that “one last
time” then here are a couple of passive aggressive things you can try:
Guaranteed
you will probably get called a bitch or two. So what…this isn’t about them it’s
about you. Besides I’m sure it’s not the first time you’ve been called out of
your name and if you live long enough it won’t be the last.
Do
yourself a favor and get rid of some folks. If they are meant to be a part of
your life, they will be. A plan means nothing if your heart isn't in it. Bottom-line
all of this is meaningless if you don't change your way of thinking. That's right;
everything comes back to your own mind set. A Crapper mindset breeds Crapper
living. You will continue to accept and settle for bullshit until you change
the way you think. Elevate your standards. Is that being snobbish? Who gives a
shit! This is about me. Quit lowering you standards just so you won't be alone.
It took being alone for me to appreciate how great I am. Yeah I said it. I'm
great. Am I all that I want to be, no BUT that doesn't mean I have to accept
Crappers that live on the level where I used to be. Step up your game or step
pass me.
2014
is loaded with possibilities but if you are too bogged down with stupid shit
and behaviors you KNOW you should have left in 2013 there is little chance you
will get to experience its potential greatness.
So
BigGirlz I'm moving on to the next one with my Keepers in check and my Crapper
properly flushed from my system!!!
