BigGirlz,
What type of Bullshit are you
feeding yourself? Why do I ask? Well,
not long ago I was a part of a discussion that brought to the forefront how
much we lie to ourselves in order to make it through. Through
what…Dating/Relationships/Singlehood/Lifeshit. These lies over time become
notorious isolating walls created for the protection of our vulnerable spirits.
And I get it, no one wants to be hurt and after it’s happened on numerous
occasions it’s a lot easier and much safer to withdraw to a fortress meticulously
constructed from past hurts, broken relationships, stupid decisions, misguided
trust, insecurity and so on.
Hiding is NOT the answer.
Sure the lies help you
to appear strong and stable. And we all know that if you repeat it to yourself
enough, it will become your “truth”; however the void you have suppressed will
eventually ooze to the surface at the most inopportune time and more than
likely mask itself as something you will believe is unrelated. Even worse that
tumoristic void will attach itself to a separate situation that you will
dismiss as “I was just pissed”.
Time to stop the madness!!!
So BigGirlz, how do we begin to
move beyond our walls? How do we break the cycle of falsehood and release our
imprisoned spirits from our self perfected fortress?
First we must identify the lies we
continuously play in our heads. Yes I realize we can and often do get caught up
in our own bullshit, but identifying the lies shouldn’t be that difficult
(SHOULDN’T is the Key word here).
Next we have to erase these jacked
up messages from our head by replacing the negative with positive thoughts and
actions.
Are you with me? Let’s give it shot…
First off, give yourself permission
to openly want it. IT? You know a man/a
relationship. In this day of the “Independent women” where wanting a Good Man
in your life seems to be heavily frowned upon, women openly proclaim their lack
of need for such foolishness yet when home alone, whine and cry over that
specific forbidden desire. As I said, it’s ok to want it! Just because popular opinion
states you shouldn’t want the “IT”, doesn’t mean it’s correct or even for you.
Be a true independent woman and follow your own path, not the one created by
others.
Secondly acknowledge the normalcy
of wanting to have a mate. It is natural to want companionship. You don’t have
to lose who you are by having someone to share in your life experiences. As a
matter of fact the right connection will further enhance the true you. Being
with someone should not cause or ever force you to cross over into “Himville”.
This is a complementary partnership not a freaking takeover.
Lastly, be open without settling.
His ass is and will not be perfect. Neither were you before you finished your hair and
makeup (Bwaahahahaha…I’m just saying). Again, be open. For example, when I see
people doing things or acting in a way that I think is questionable or jacked
up (so to speak), normally I shake it off with “Errbody wasn’t raised by my momma”
and keep it moving. Good or bad, it’s true. What that really says is their life
experiences may have been very different from mine. Who’s to say that all my
actions are what my parents intended? Maybe you just witnessed an out of
character moment. We’ve all had those. Just don’t allow that one glimpse to be
the end all be all. I’m not saying ignore a consistent showing of that moment
of glory but maybe step pass the 1st act and see what the next scene
reveals. Trust me, the real being will definitely shine through plus rarely is an in-tune gut ever wrong. The basic foundation of the real him could flawlessly
exist. Maybe the structure is loose or needs some adjustments. No I’m not
saying take him on as a fixer-upper project however it is amazing what a fresh
coat of paint can do to an old room. Ya never know, you could be that perfect
spark that triggers his spirit to align with yours.
Bottom line BigGirlz, it’s time to purge
our minds, thoughts and spirits and begin the process of living in reality. Don’t
let the opinions of others and the self developed lies prevent you from seeking
the fulfillment of your heart’s desire. Win or lose what’s life without the
adventure of trying…BORING AS HELL!!!!
I’m moving on to the next one,
while stretching my thoughts beyond my own experiences.
