Are you the Queen of Sabotage?
BigGirlz, I don’t know anyone who could
reflect on their past and not find at least one “do over” situation. Whether it
stems from a decision made out of anger, fear or lack of knowledge, we all can
easily find something we’d like to return to the scene of the crime to either
fix or erase. As a matter of fact, many of us won’t have to reflect very long
or even scroll back very far in our minds to pick out what I also refer to as
an “Ah Damn It” type of event. It’s life.
As you review and reflect I need you to add a
filter to this search, Relationships, Dating and all things related. Are you
finding numerous “Ah Damn Its” and Do Overs? Are they laced with Shouldha Couldha
Wouldha? If not, this post won’t pertain to you. If you’re rolling your eyes at
the very thought, then grab some wine (or whatever’s your favorite poison) and
sit back; this journey is for you. Hey my eyes are rolling all over the place
so you are not alone.
When it comes to Sabotage, I’m not sure if I
wear a queen’s crown but a princess tiara is definitely in order. Ya see
BigGirlz, my do overs and such range from giving the wrong person my number to
allowing a 3rd and 4th chance.
See I’m not talking about Sabotaging a
relationship with a potential mate, OH NO! I’m referring to the relationship we
have with our inner peace and self contentment. Ya see BigGirlz we have a
tendency to Sabotage our happiness.
Let’s back up. Now for all you Super Saints,
Holy Rollers and Quick to Judge Church Folk, yes we’ve all heard it “Joy, the
world didn’t give it and the world can’t take it away”, yeah yeah yeah. We know
and it sounds fabulous but that’s not what I’m talking about. In the real
world, many of us have an “overall” joy BUT struggle with specific life pockets
that make us unhappy; and had we listened to our gut instinct, we wouldn’t have
to deal with that “Ah Damn It” moment that remains fresh in our minds.
And now back toward my point…Ah Damn It
BigGirlz, I don’t know about you but most of
my Ah Damn Its are connected to a Bored.com moment. You know, Idle mind stuff
but even that is not an excuse at least not a valid one.
So why do we do it? What I have noticed, when
there is a Void in our lives instead of just transforming that Void into a
reflective or recovery time, we rush to fill it with something/anything that
will prevent us from dealing with that empty space. Not realizing that Voids
are neither the end nor forever. Voids are often an appointed place holder for
restoration of the mind and spirit; forced appointments to clean-up mental mess
or even re-introduce ourselves to our purpose. It is by filling that Void with meaningless
crap, we disrupt what could have been a re-connection or a reinforcement of our
inner peace.
Now you’re probably thinking what the Hell
does this have to do with dating? Well here it is:
1.
If you are out of sync with yourself you will
date anything. For example “Yeah, I know he used to be with one of my friends
but it’s just a date(or dinner or a movie.) It’s not like it’s anything
serious. You’re correct the encounter may not be serious but the fallout behind
it… Is it really worth it?
2.
Lack of mental clarity clouds your thinking
as well as your judgment. “He wasn’t THAT bad. Now that we know each other
better, things will be different…” BULLSHIT, the only thing that’s changed is
the day. Sure people change but have you? Have your expectations? Are things
that your previous relationship lacked, no longer valid to you? Don’t down grade
just to say you have somebody.
And here is my favorite
3.
He’s just something to do until I meet the
real thing. Bwaahahahahahaha are you F’ing kidding me? Lord knows how many
times I fed that stupid shit to myself. Let’s be honest here BigGirlz, How the
hell are you going to meet “the One” if you are preoccupied with Mr. Something
to Do? IJS
Bottom line, stop Sabotaging your well being
and worth with temporary garbage. Deal with the Void, its ok. Use it to
embrace, enhance and elevate the true spirit of you. Remember darkness cannot
exist in a will lit place.
I’m moving on to the next one dancing a jig
all the way through my Void. Tell me, what chu got?
